Well apparently he's into motor boating.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
