eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
