i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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