I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
