Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
