i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
