i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
