Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
