He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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