do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
operation have a gay friend backfired
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
