she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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