i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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