I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
