3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I want to have your abortion
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
