i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
