is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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