Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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