Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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