Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
