I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
