She said her name was "party"
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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