Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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