Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she woke up with a sticky ear
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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