I got chris browned last night
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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