dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
