In the future we'll all be gay
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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