The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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