So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
