Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
