She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
