I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
