Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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