All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
