If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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