i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
