Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
