He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
