i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You are the jesus of drinking
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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