Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
vagina is talking i cant
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
