absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
