Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
