oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
