At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
she looked like the before picture.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
