"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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