just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
