Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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