sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
