I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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