Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
