mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
